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Operation Garbage Day

Something horrendous found its way into our garbage the other day. We can only guess at its composition, but it smelled like a rotting corpse, lathered with rotting milk, then sprinkled with skunk extract. It really really REALLY stank.

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We keep the garbage in the garage as we patiently wait for garbage-day to come and save us. With each passing day the smell grows worse.

The night before garbage-day, we pull into the driveway and face the dismal fact: Somebody will need to take out the trash. This is an unpleasant duty, since the rank smell grows exponentially terrible as it is approached.

We pull straws, and unfortunately the dismal task befalls me (Jake). I sit in the car, trying to build the courage and focus to conquer my foe. Sam knows this may be the last she sees of me. She expresses her grief by playing with her camera:

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Once I'm mentally prepared, we discuss our strategy. I will step out, take a deep breath, and attempt to open the garage door. Once the garage door is on its way up, I will run to safe distance and take another breath. Then, I will run to the garbage and pull it outside (all under the same breath). It's a risky operation.

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We begin. For the most part, things go according to plan. Sam takes this action photo from the safety of the car cabin. Here, I have been holding my breath for ~45 seconds. The fumes from the garbage start to become visible.

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After a few moments of uncertainty, we conclude that success is ours. The garbage is outside, ready to be picked up. Victory wasn't easy, but it smells much sweeter than we could have imagined.

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Sam gets a whiff of the aftermath as she exits the car.

The Debate Over Accessorizing Lulu

Here in Oahu, a fierce debate has been raging this week. On one side of the debate -- we can call this the Utilitarian Allies side -- we have those who argue that, while certain Japanese cars may be reliable and affordable and worthy of pet names such as Lulu, ...

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...they are undeniably lacking in cup holder space. Therefore, these reasonable folks contend that the clear solution for a car like Lulu is to get her a little plastic cup holder accessory to hold larger drinks like large-sized Cokes from fast food establishments and Nalgene bottles. On the other side of the debate are those -- we'll call theirs the Image Conscious side -- who believe that 2 small, can-sized "cup" holders ought to be sufficient. They further believe that it's not visually pleasing to add cup holders to cars and therefore the practice should not be used.

Well. Today, those on the Utilitarian Allies side made a dramatic move and invested $1.31 in the purchase of an additional cup holder for Lulu. Shortly after, those on the Image Conscious side staged a peaceful demonstration in protest:

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To date, both sides have clung tightly to their respective positions and the issue has yet to be fully resolved. However, the two sides have come together in peace talks and a trip to Target in the name of accessorizing Lulu with air freshener. They chose a nice Aquablue flavor (whatever that means), deciding in unanimity against the apparently-extremely-popular-in-Hawaii "squash" scent:

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Really? Squash??

The Quest for Culinary Excellence

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This looks like a good, sensible, healthy meal, right? Wrong. Magnify the image 625% and you'll notice that it doesn't look that appetizing:

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Gross. The corn is soggy, the carrots are soggy, the pork is bland AND soggy. You might assume a total culinary novice prepared this meal. Unfortunately, that's the situation we found ourselves in last night. I (Jake) undertook a very risky culinary experiment which resulted in the above debacle. The experiment was so advanced that failure at this level could easily be mistaken for complete cooking ignorance.

Sam was gracious in her compliments for the meal. However, I knew that a point remained to be proven. We therefore undertook the challenge:

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IRON CHEF HAWAII: The Quest for Culinary Excellence

Sam and I decided to have some guests over for dinner. Unbeknownst to her, this was the perfect opportunity to reclaim my throne as head iron chef.

Sam decided to prepare summer rolls: A tasty southeast asian recipe consisting of 11 herbs and spices, all wrapped in fresh rice paper. Not bad for a novice.

I decided to make Gyoza. Or "potstickers" in the layman's tongue. Many have died trying to conquer this dangerous dish.

We started preparing our meals as the guests arrived. Tensions were running high, one small mistake and the competition would be over. Unfortunately, Samantha didn't even realize she was in a competition. After roughly 45 minutes, our creations were complete. We let the guests decide the winner:

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Sam, Sarah, Mark, and Dana: deciding the fate of the universe.

And, the results:

Sam's Summer Rolls:
QUANTITY: 2.0
TASTE: 3.0
HEALTHINESS: 4.0
TOTAL: 9.0

Jake's Gyoza:
QUANTITY: 4.0
TASTE: 3.0
HEALTHINESS: 2.0
TOTAL: 9.0

A Perfect Tie! Sam and Jake are declared co-victors in the competition. Again, Jake is the only one aware the competition, so the sweet taste of victory is only palpable to him.

We decide to celebrate by taking a midnight stroll to the beach:

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Followed by a fierce round of Texas Hold'em. Dana, masquerading as a novice, cleans house.

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Flashback to California

First and foremost, thank you all for your kind condolences about my shoes. I feel so loved! 
Now, here's a quick flashback to our adventure in California, where we spent a week before arriving in Oahu. First, Jake's birthday! Well actually his birthday was several weeks ago, but here are some photos of his belated birthday celebration with friends and family at Zachary's Pizza, mmm...

Jake received very thoughtful birthday cards, created just for the special occasion:
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Tyler, Emily, Beth, ...


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and Jean and I all joined him for the event:


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And there was a big birthday hoopla including the waitstaff's happy birthday rendition:


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See, Jake is just having buckets of fun here!
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And finally, we took an excursion down to Mountain View and visited my girl Avni -- er, and our friends Resmi and Karthik, too :)  -->

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A Night of Remembrance and Reverence: The Shoe Funeral

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Rest In Peace:
Samantha's Favorite Shoes
4/1/2008 ~ 4/19/2009

Tragedy is no stranger to the Hawaiian Islands. Samantha now has personal experience with this grotesque fact. Her favorite shoes have passed on.

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The passing of the shoes was sudden, yet not surprising. The shoes were showing signs of wear with the initial loss of the protective paint (illustrated above). Samantha estimated the shoes would last another year or two. She was shocked when her toe strap tore out. All attempts to fix the strap have failed, and the shoes were pronounced unrecoverable at 8:00pm Hawaii Time.

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Sam had a hard time accepting reality. She refused to believe that her shoes would never be worn again. After hours of denial, she finally accepted that her shoes had walked their last mile.

Jake uses his astute funeral skills and takes control of the situation. He acts as head mortician and guides Samantha through these troubled times.

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We hold a funeral service for the shoes. Sam laments over the unfairness of life.

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Sam can no longer fight back the river of tears.

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Jake is elected special pallbearer. He swaddles the shoes in a protective Target bag.

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Jake departs to inter the shoes in their final resting place.


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Rest in peace Samantha's Favorite Shoes.
You will be missed.

Sunset Dinner

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We venture out 100 yards for a sunset 'dinner' on the beach. We play the sweet soothing sounds of Elvis Presley from our iPhones.

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The main course consists of Samantha's very own creation: Bananas, Strawberries, and the key ingredient: Ice Cream.

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In a cruel twist of fate, dessert turns out to be steamed vegetables.

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The Treacherous Quest for a New Car

Sam and I have finished a grueling week of car shopping. We experienced the good, the bad, and the downright ugly.

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Episode #1: We first tried our luck at the used car dealers. They tried to sell us overpriced lemons and were pretty sleazy about it. For the most part, our stereotypes of used car dealers has been solidified.
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Episode #2: We find a decent looking 95 Corolla. Everything's going great until Sam notices a Cockroach Infestation.

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Episode #3: Sam finds a great Suzuki Vitara (sp?) on sale at the military base. Our friend, Mark, is quite the statesman and lets us in to take a look. Unfortunately, by the time we arrived to test drive, another buyer had already swooped in and picked it up. Our only source of consolation is our conviction that the car is probably infested with roaches as well.


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Episode #4: We then test drive a little KIA SUV. Not too great, not too terrible. Once Sam takes the helm, her accute roach-sensing ability fires up and she notices a tincy wincy roach in the dashboard. It is a little uncomfortable given the small size of the KIA.
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Finally, we find the car of our dreams. It's a 95 Toyota Camry. Less than 50k miles, and seems like it's in pretty good condition. We use our astute bargaining skills to shave off a whopping $200. The car is safe in Kai Lani.
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We're still waiting on Sam to come around to this, but I've already got the flame decals picked out. We can easilly double the retail value of the car by making it an official babe magnet.